Hope(lessness)
At times she feels hopeless and at times she feels hope, and in between, if she’s lucky, there’s a blissful kind of nothingness giving her time to rest. Rest is necessary, because both hopelessness and hope are tiring feelings to have, especially when, some days, they alternate so rapidly it makes her wonder whether it is possible to feel hopelessness and hope at the same time. It might very well be possible, after all, she feels both too old and too young, both too dreamy and too serious. And she thinks life is both too long and too short and she finds herself thinking both too much and too little. Contradictions are everywhere around her, within her and probably within other people as well. Maybe hopelessness makes her feel hope and hope makes her feel hopelessness. Maybe they bring each other about. Maybe she can’t feel one, without also feeling the other. Do you think that’s true, stranger?
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